Last time you heard from me I promised I wouldn’t keep you waiting too long for another post but I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I’m a liar.
Actually, I’m just lazy and I’ve been struggling to come up with things to talk about on here.
20 years old and already running out of material. I’ve got a long career ahead of me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my blog content lately. I originally created this thing to use it as a tool for me to experiment with comedic writing. A way for me to try and branch out from my typical depressing and over-emotional writing.
And you people seem to love it.
I get messages, comments, and texts from people I haven’t spoken to ever in my life telling me that they love my writing, I have a “true voice” and other ridiculously kind compliments.
As much as I truly appreciate your feedback and continuous support, I feel as if I’m not staying true to myself or to you guys.
I don’t want you all to think that this is who I am. Because it’s not. It’s a part of me, but I’m more than an underage alcoholic who throws up in inappropriate locations.
****I also want to take a moment to take note that I am in no way a distinguished writer with any sort of clue with what I want to accomplish here. I don’t even know what I want my voice to be but I do know that I want it to be true.****
This has a lot to do with why I haven’t been posting a lot recently. Every time I go to write something funny or mildly entertaining, nothing comes out. I get writer’s block just like the rest of the world, but this is something different. As silly as it sounds, I put a lot of effort and thought into what I write regardless of the subject matter.
One of the main reasons I want to be a writer is to help people. For a long time I thought the only way for me to do that was for me to share every dark and depressing aspect of my life. Then I decided to ignore that part of my life because it seemed to define me as a person.
So I dabbled in writing that makes people laugh.
But you know what? I want to reach people on every level.
I want to make you laugh. I want to make you cry. I want to make you think.
I want to make you happy. I want to make you angry. I want to make you understand.
I want you to know about when I got rolled out of my high school math class in a wheelchair because I thought I was going to shit my pants.
I want you to know about how sometimes I cry because Bill Cosby isn’t my father.
I want you to know about that one time I chopped my hair off with a pair nail clippers.
I want you know about the time I got so mad I punched a brick wall and fractured my hand.
I want you to know about how sometimes I sit down in the shower and the water has turned ice cold before I can muster up the strength to stand back up.
I want you to know about how sometimes I get so sad that I jump out of my bedroom window and wander around in the middle of the night.
You’re probably wondering why I want you to know these things and I’m not 100% sure why, but part of it is that I’m tired of picking and choosing who I want people to think I am.
So from here on out, just know that you’re going to be getting it all from me because when I start lying to you guys, I start lying to myself. And I’m not about that life.
Also, this doesn’t mean that every post is going to be sad. I’m still going to be strikingly hilarious.
YOU THINK YOU KNO ME BUT DO U EVEN REALLY????
I hope you still love me in the morning.